Happy New year !
over 6 years ago
– Sat, Jan 11, 2020 at 07:33:23 AM
Dear backers,
I wrote this update on Thursday and wanted to published it after I read it to Denys.
I totally understand your frustration Brian. I know you are waiting a long time to get your tier and I'm sorry I can't manage to speed up things as it should.
Yes, Denys is making progress with the layout; he is using Chaosium’s template to do it. It's simple and efficient.
I've been doing some progress with the statues as well but not as much as I wished : I've been sick during the last two weeks of December. 2019 was a terrible year for several diseases in our family and I'm so glad it's over (fingers crossed!)
You probably know that the money I earn with my kickstarters fundings does not covers my financial needs. Therefore I must find other ressources. I’ve been developping a new rpg projet with an electronic disposal that could be uses in any rpg universes. But unfortunately there have been several delays with the ingeneers so I had to find another source of income.
It was such an exhausting and difficult year indeed. After my brain, my body implored me to give it some rest... and when I was lying on my bed, I've been thinking a lot about the last months and all the obstacles that came through my organization.
Some of them were out of my control : what can I do if my father is sick, and then my husband? What can I do when my partner loose his current job and has to find something else to feed the family quickly? what can I do when I have to pay 10% more of social fees than the last year?
But some of obstacles were coming from my own brain. Oh ! useless brain.. I've spent so many time making to-do lists, trying to be the most productive a possible. But the more I was making those lists, the less I was productive. I was feeling soooo guilty to unachieved simple goals. And I started to make technical mistakes and also, I chose poorly some people I was working with. And I felt more guilty about being weak not able enough to be the strong manager I should be I think I've started a kind of burnout, which is very common with people selling their works on the internet. We are the worst bosses for ourselves !
SO during my long days in bed, vulnerable as we all are when we get a fever, I allowed myself to reconnect with some deep needs. I thought about all I have to do to honor my engagements and instead of feeling guilty again I remember WHY I was doing this job and it gave me some new strengths. I believe that my work should participate in a collective process : the fact that I'm creating objets that will participate in some of the best memories of your life is my first reward as an artist. Some souvenirs of your role paying games are the best of your life, aren't they?
I've stopped to exhibit my art in galleries because I wanted something bigger : connect and create with the others. So even if I'm very slow to deliver my project because my brain and body chocked last year, be sure that I will always use my blood, sweat and tears to honor my mission because I love it. And I know we share the same believe " connect and create with the others".
I know now I will overcome the difficulties and I'm focused on finishing the work for this kickstarter.Then I might stop for a while.
Happy new year to all of you !
Delphes
